It’s season finale time MODERN FAMILY watchers. Wednesday nights will be a little less funny this summer, but the Fall will be here before we know it. Anyway, continue reading below for the muy caliente deets from this week’s “Baby on Board.”
While practicing for Lily’s ballet recital, Cam and Mitchell got a call from the adoption agency informing them that a baby was on the way. They had to go to the hospital that day to pick up their brand new Latino baby boy. Though Cam was just bursting with joy, they decided to keep the news to themselves for a little bit. He tried two minutes worth of waiting, gave in and called Gloria who then told the rest of the family. Claire was not pleased hearing the news from Gloria, but Cam was just the most excited I’ve ever seen him. His screaming was the second best Cam moment of the night next to the Wonder Woman twirling. It even garnered a spectacularly classic Mitchell Pritchett eye roll.
Slight pickle though. They were going to have to miss Lily’s performance. Good thing Jay and Gloria volunteered to take her. Once Mitchell and Cam stopped by their house to drop Lily off, they realized they needed Gloria to come with them to the hospital. The baby’s family seemed to only speak Spanish, so they needed Gloria as a translator. So, Jay and Manny had to babysit the little terror themselves.
On their way to the hospital, Gloria was car sick from Cam’s swirly-twirly driving. They tried to distract her by talking about “Fire and Ice,” the sizzling telenovela that she, Cam and Jay love. The crazy plot twists discussed didn’t seem to help, especially since Cam was driving with his pinkies up, making Gloria even more nauseous.
When they got to the hospital, they learned the baby boy was born a half hour before they got there with thick brown hair and brown eyes, weighing 7 pounds 4 ounces. All of a sudden, it became a Spanish soap opera in that joint between the baby’s family members and supporting characters including a slutty nurse, sexy priest and a rugged ranch hand. The scene had everything from boyfriend stealing, to spiteful truth telling. It truly lived up to telenovela standards.
Unfortunately, the ranch hand told the grandmother about the baby situation and refused to give him up. She said she’d raise the baby herself and thus, Cam and Mitchell were baby-less. Because of the emotional stress, they decided to take a break from the adoption process sadly. It will happen for them someday!
Jay and Manny were working together to build a toy airplane. They prepared themselves with all the right tools including, power plants, fuselage, and charcuterie. You know, the yuge. No need to have an empty stomach while building fake airplanes here peeps.
While making this Amelia Earhart era airplane, Lily interrupted them constantly with annoying questions and dance move viewings. The girl didn’t quit and both Jay and Manny didn’t care for this situation.
Later at the recital, Lily had a case of performance anxiety and refused to perform. Her teacher came up to Jay and Manny and asked one of them to convince her to perform. She preferred Jay as Manny wasn’t so confident in her dance skills. He wouldn’t have been as supportive.
Back stage with little ballerina Lily, Jay found out that she didn’t want to perform because her dads weren’t there. He explained that they’d love her just as much even with a new family member in the house. He knew this because he loves both his kids equally no matter what. This didn’t convince her to dance on stage, though. She wanted Jay to join her; he offered her 50 bucks instead. Still, she didn’t budge.
In the end, Jay danced the night away with his niece on stage. What a great guy! He sure hasn’t lost his inherent fatherly skills. Good thing because he’s going to need it when Gloria gives birth to their baby in 9-10 months! Oh yeah, Gloria’s pregnant! Let’s see how that pans out in the Fall.
Claire and Alex walked into the Dunphy household after a day of prom dress shopping. Alex seemed beyond thrilled about it. I think she’d look more excited if she were prepping for a colonoscopy. Though Alex was going to be promenading later on that night, Haley decided against going because proms are for squares, like Alex obvi.
Speaking of Haley, Phil and Claire seemed worried about their eldest daughter’s future. She hadn’t heard from the college she was wait-listed from and were afraid she didn’t have a plan. Turns out she had one. Haley applied to community college and for a position at The Gap, as she was going to take a “gap” year between high school and college to find herself. Her parents seemed impressed until they found out she’d be working at The Gap. Oh dear.
Later on, Phil was teaching Alex how to dance with a grin on his face from ear to ear. Alex on the other hand looked like she was trying to swat away bees. White girl can’t dance. Haley then came home with great news; she got a job at The Gap. Holler! To celebrate, she went grocery shopping to cook dinner for herself, Dylan, Phil and Claire. She wanted to use this opportunity to break the news to her folks that she’d be moving in with Dylan after graduation.
Soon it was time for prom. Alex came down the stairs looking adorable, sexy, er, I give up. She looked like a cute human being in a prom dress. Moving on. When her date got to the door, she tried to bolt, but her parents stopped her. Her parents wanted to meet the “Casanova,” she was taking to prom. Though nervous to have her parents meet her stud of a date, she eventually let him in for a picture. Turns out, her date was gay, but not out of the closet yet. The signs were clear though, considering he did an AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL abstract pose when Phil decided to take a photo of them with “flash.”
Later at dinner, after some discussion about Phil’s prom, Dylan let it slip that he and Haley would be moving in together. Luke asked if they were doing sex and was quickly dismissed from the table. To scare her out of making this mistake, they painted a horrifying picture of a life filled with sheet curtains, “sklurgs,” pregnancy and hand-me-downs.
Worry not Dunphys, all will work out because Haley actually did get into college. Luke just hid the acceptance letter (along with other mail including Jury Duty summons, gun range coupons, and report cards) because he didn’t want her to leave. So, Dylan and Haley were not moving in together. Instead, Dylan asked Haley to take him to her prom. Phil was oh so happy. Good thing Claire dresses like a teenager, otherwise Haley wouldn’t have had anything to wear.
“Well I don’t like how far down that zipper goes, but on the plus side it is water resistant.” – Phil to Alex about the garment bag her prom dress is in.
“Proms are lame. It’s just an excuse for dressed up dorks to ride in limos and hump each other.” – Haley about the fact that she’s not going to prom.
“I might just go crazy tonight and hook up all over him.” –Alex to her family, who thinks she’s a geek. She’ll show them! She’s not even going to wear her glasses.
“That’s charcuterie? I’ve been avoiding that on menus for years. They’re killing themselves with that name.” – Jay to Manny after learning charcuterie is actually a plate of prosciutto, salami, etc.
“Frio. Muy frio.” – Cam to Mitchell after he asked Gloria to come with them to the hospital to translate.
“No no no, arms down here says, ‘I’m white and I’m sorry.” Arms up here says, ‘you don’t know what I am.’” – Phil “I don’t.” – Alex, to her father teaching her how to dance for prom. Best. Dance moves. Ever.
“Yes, my bad boy prom date is gay. He just doesn’t know it yet. So, I’m basically his beard. Pre-beard…his stubble.” – Alex about her prom date, who thinks she looks flawless in coral.
“Please stop driving the car like a snake, it’s making me nauseating.” – Gloria, who does not care for Cam’s vomit inducing driving technique.
“Sir Phillium Dunphy and the Lady Wilkins!” – Phil impersonating his dad, impersonating a British limo driver as he announced Phil and his date’s arrival at prom.
“I’m designing t-shirts now and they’re going to be huge. Also, medium and small.” – Dylan to Phil and Claire about how he will finance an apartment with Haley.
“Guess what! Suddenly, you’re 60 years old, wandering toothless and alone in a post apocalyptic wasteland.” – Phil “Wait a second, how did Dylan get the nuclear codes again?” – Haley “During the robot wars!” – Phil, who really ran with that imagination of his regarding Haley’s future with Dylan.
“I want to be your Angela Wilkins.” – Dylan to Haley after he asked her to prom.
What didja think Reel Vixens? Are you super bummed you’ll be sans new MODERN FAMILY episodes this summer? Are you shocked about Gloria’s pregnancy? How bad do you feel for Cam and Mitchell? Let me know in the comments section below!